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Advent Ghosts Short Story: While You Sleep

Saturday, 24 December 2011



The I Saw Lightning Fall blog has a tradition of hosting 100-word spooky flash fiction stories on Chrismtas Eve: Advent Ghosts. I couldn't resist. Here's my own contribution ...







While You Sleep

    She would stay awake this year, she would. Every Christmas Eve she made the same vow. Every year sleep betrayed her. She would awake with a gasp to the glittering presents on her bed and the cold thought he’d been in her room, standing there while she slept.

    But she was ten now, no longer a child. If she stayed awake, he couldn’t come in. That was the rule. Everyone knew it. This was her room, where she felt safe. Every other night of the year.

She waited, trying to ignore the smothering weight of tiredness filling up her mind.




Thanks for dropping by and Merry Christmas!

Posted by Simon Kewin at 08:00

18 comments:

  1. Old Kitty24 December 2011 at 11:04

    Now I'll have to sleep with the lights on!! LOL!!

    Happy Christmas, you bad man! LOL! Take care
    x

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  2. Deborah Walker24 December 2011 at 12:28

    Now, I've never thought of it like that . . . A lovely twisted drabble, Simon.

    Merry Chritmas.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Simon Kewin24 December 2011 at 16:23

    Thanks, Old Kitty - I hope you won't really!

    Deborah - Many thanks. Have a great Christmas!

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  4. Unknown24 December 2011 at 16:24

    I sense desperation and this twists into a sense of child abuse/sexual assault, which may not have been intended. You've packed this drabble with depth.

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  5. Simon Kewin24 December 2011 at 16:59

    Aidan - thanks. I was certainly trying to hint at some (unspecified) anxiety but as to what, that's up to the reader ...

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  6. Michelle D. Argyle24 December 2011 at 18:57

    Oh, I love the twist in this!

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  7. B. Nagel24 December 2011 at 19:26

    Even without considering the abuse aspect, there is a certain (culturally accepted) violation associated with Santa's gift-giving.

    Thanks for that. Now I'll feel guilty shen my daughter opens her presents.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Simon Kewin24 December 2011 at 19:40

    Thanks, Michelle!

    B. Nagel - don't feel guilty! Just a story. Have fun!

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  9. Golden Eagle24 December 2011 at 21:06

    Oh, that is spooky . . . definitely a dark twist to Christmas!

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  10. Craig25 December 2011 at 04:20

    You turned that on it's head nicely. Good Job.

    ReplyDelete
  11. dolorah25 December 2011 at 04:39

    LOL; I don't blame her one bit :) Its a wonder more children don't think this way . .

    A great twist Simon. Have a merry, intruder-free Christmas.

    .......dhole

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  12. Elizabeth Gaucher25 December 2011 at 17:47

    Exceptional.

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  13. SzélsőFa26 December 2011 at 17:01

    i don't sense abuse here, but there is a definite touch of unwanted presence, something dark. nicely worded.

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  14. Loren Eaton27 December 2011 at 02:01

    Santa as home invader, benevolent (or perhaps not) sneaking into our abodes. Nice. I like it, Simon.

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  15. Simon Kewin27 December 2011 at 08:33

    Thanks one and all for dropping by and commenting. Some very kind feedback.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous27 December 2011 at 23:12

    Such a potent sense of place and the moment. Very nicely done!

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  17. fairyhedgehog2 January 2012 at 09:21

    That definitely nails creepy for me!

    I hope you had good holidays and that the coming year holds good things for you.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Simon Kewin2 January 2012 at 09:38

    Thanks fairyhedgehog. Hope you have a great 2012 too.

    ReplyDelete

I'd love to know what you think.