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Advent Ghosts Short Story: While You Sleep

Saturday 24 December 2011



The I Saw Lightning Fall blog has a tradition of hosting 100-word spooky flash fiction stories on Chrismtas Eve: Advent Ghosts. I couldn't resist. Here's my own contribution ...







While You Sleep

    She would stay awake this year, she would. Every Christmas Eve she made the same vow. Every year sleep betrayed her. She would awake with a gasp to the glittering presents on her bed and the cold thought he’d been in her room, standing there while she slept.

    But she was ten now, no longer a child. If she stayed awake, he couldn’t come in. That was the rule. Everyone knew it. This was her room, where she felt safe. Every other night of the year.

She waited, trying to ignore the smothering weight of tiredness filling up her mind.




Thanks for dropping by and Merry Christmas!

18 comments:

  1. Now I'll have to sleep with the lights on!! LOL!!

    Happy Christmas, you bad man! LOL! Take care
    x

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  2. Now, I've never thought of it like that . . . A lovely twisted drabble, Simon.

    Merry Chritmas.

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  3. Thanks, Old Kitty - I hope you won't really!

    Deborah - Many thanks. Have a great Christmas!

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  4. I sense desperation and this twists into a sense of child abuse/sexual assault, which may not have been intended. You've packed this drabble with depth.

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  5. Aidan - thanks. I was certainly trying to hint at some (unspecified) anxiety but as to what, that's up to the reader ...

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  6. Even without considering the abuse aspect, there is a certain (culturally accepted) violation associated with Santa's gift-giving.

    Thanks for that. Now I'll feel guilty shen my daughter opens her presents.

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  7. Thanks, Michelle!

    B. Nagel - don't feel guilty! Just a story. Have fun!

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  8. Oh, that is spooky . . . definitely a dark twist to Christmas!

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  9. You turned that on it's head nicely. Good Job.

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  10. LOL; I don't blame her one bit :) Its a wonder more children don't think this way . .

    A great twist Simon. Have a merry, intruder-free Christmas.

    .......dhole

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  11. i don't sense abuse here, but there is a definite touch of unwanted presence, something dark. nicely worded.

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  12. Santa as home invader, benevolent (or perhaps not) sneaking into our abodes. Nice. I like it, Simon.

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  13. Thanks one and all for dropping by and commenting. Some very kind feedback.

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  14. Such a potent sense of place and the moment. Very nicely done!

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  15. That definitely nails creepy for me!

    I hope you had good holidays and that the coming year holds good things for you.

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  16. Thanks fairyhedgehog. Hope you have a great 2012 too.

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I'd love to know what you think.